This week Brennden has gone to the office twice already. And it's not because he is in trouble. He is actually asking to go there. He says he needs alone time. Brennden is voluntarily giving up activities to go to the office. And I am at a total loss as to what to do. If anyone has any suggestions as to what I can do to help him not want to go to the office I would greatly appreciate it. Next Thursday is back to school night so I will be able to talk more in depth with his teacher. Hopefully we can come to some kind of solution. I just hope it is something that we can do at home. If not, we will at least be able to talk to his teacher and see if we can't have some sort of compromise.
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7 years ago
7 comments:
Is he simply wanting the attention he gets from going? Do you think he's getting some sort of reward when he goes (feeling special, getting away with something, etc)? I would try to find the root of why he's doing it, so then you can deal with it from that perspective.
I agree with Keri that there might be some type of reward or something for going. Or another thought that I had is that he might need some space away from the other kids in the class.. some 'alone time.' Maybe he is just overwhelmed with everything in the classroom and needs a small break. I think talking to his teacher will probably be the best way to go.. hopefully she see's some 'warning signs' before he asks to go to the office that you guys could work on. I really don't know what else to think. Good luck!
I was going to say what Heather said about being overwhelmed and too stimulated. But I don't really know because I'm not there yet w/ my kiddo. Just a guess. Sometimes I want to get away from noise and busyness and people too. I could see how transitioning to going to school when you've never done it before could be way too much at times.
I think talking to the teacher & coming up with a game plan will be a good place to start. Let us know what you do & if it works!
Also, I was thinking that if you could come up with a way to make going to the office less rewarding or give an incentive to stay in the class & not go to the office, maybe that will help.
Jakey is really strong-willed, so if we help him decide that he wants to behave good, he does. If he hasn't decided to be good, he is not. He is also extremely motivated by incentives, so doing something like this has & does work for him. An example, in first grade when Jake was getting sent to the office for being in trouble, one of my coworkers told him that if he didn't go to the office he would give him Pokeman cards. Believe it or not, that was a HUGE reason for Jake to be good & to try to avoid going to the office. This coworker still periodically asks how Jake is doing & if he is good, Pokeman cards show up, 3 years later!
Now, I am not saying that kids need to be bribed, but you need to find what works. It can be a real experiment to figure this out!
Jake is heavily motivated by earning good priviledges (i.e. getting to watch TV, play with friends, getting to play video games, etc), by earning praise, and by getting things (such as treats and toys).
Lander's motivations are a lot different & no two kids are alike....in fact, I am having a hard time figuring out how to get him to cooperate better with his chores because most of the Jake's motivations don't work for Lander!
Of couse, some things work better at different ages & maturity levels, so the expirement doesn't really end. Good luck!
Cant they just tell him no??
I told him if he goes to the office he doesn't get to play the play station. So far it has worked.
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